Who Am I Update

I've written a bit about who I think I am and what some of my life goals are.  I am actually starting to feel like I am accomplishing some of the goals that I have set for myself.  When my mom got diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I took a long hard look at my life and decided to make some changes.  Unfortunately, I decided to make the changes all at once.  I should know myself better and I should know that I need to go slow.  I need to make some small changes and make them stick and then move on to a few more small changes so that in the end I will have made all the big changes, just over a long time period.  I have totally eliminated soda from my diet.  With all of the new information surrounding soda, I am hoping that eliminating this will help in many ways, not just eliminating the bad things in soda.  I am doing better with eating healthy foods.  I think today might have been the first day I have been totally vegetarian, lacto-vegetarian, but vegetarian at least.  I know need to continue in this manner then start moving towards vegan, yet if I have some meat at some point, I won't beat myself up about it, because I know that will just spiral me back to where I don't want to be.

Now that I have a working washer again, my laundry is getting more manageable.  I am back to using cloth diapers.  It's a little hard with Michael being in school and wanting to ensure that I have enough diapers for him.  I have enough, but I just need to get into more of a routine with ensuring that there are cloth diapers for school.  It's only been two days of school so I know I will get into more of a routine as time goes on.

As far as crafting and being creative, I just don't seem to make the time.  I should plan better so that I have a project to work on while I watch my favorite tv shows.  I am participating in http://flirtyapronswap.blogspot.com next apron swap again.  I am really excited for this one.  I have requested a full garden apron and put that I love bright floral prints.  I am so hoping that my partner sees what I like and makes me a beautiful apron, like the ones that I have already received.  I love how creative others in this swap can be.  I am really looking forward to getting my partner and working really hard to get a package together that is really special.

Lastly, not that this is a major piece of who I am, it's really just the outward appearance of me, but I am again considering cutting my hair really short.  I have spent the last year and a half growing it out and am actually for the first time in my life, loving my curls, which is what is making this decision so much more difficult.  For years, I had a pixie style haircut and loved it.  I felt a little outrageous, probably not the right word, but I can't think of a better one.  I felt like I was saying yes I can be feminine and have really short hair.  I loved wearing makeup and really wearing dramatic colors with the short hair.  This was also pre-kids.  Not that short hair is difficult, but you really need to get your hair cut often, especially me since my hair grows in so fast.  I really need to wear make up to really make the short hair look right.  The funny thing is, when I was getting married, I contemplated growing my hair out and my sister in law mentioned that it may be foolish since short hair was what I had been wearing for years and was at that time who I was (not that you should be defined by what you look like, but short hair was who I was).  I am thinking that short hair is who I am and I should go back to wearing my hair short.  I think my husband will shoot me if I tell him I want to go short again.  I was thinking that given that my mom is getting chemo and that there is a good chance that she will lose her hair, I would cut my hair short in support of her losing her hair.  I wish my hair was longer, then I would have no qualms about cutting it.  I would go pixie short once again and donate my hair.  I don't know that I can wait long enough to let my hair grow tile there is 8-10 inches of hair to donate.  I don't know why hair is always my thing to obsess about.  I think for a bit, I was afraid that to be feminine I needed to have long hair.  I'm not sure I feel that way anymore.  I think that I had fun with short hair and I think that some day soon I may end up with short hair again.

Just a few things about me.  I hate to say that the hair paragraph is really what I needed to write about.  It's not exactly what I want to focus on with this blog, but it is who I am and I think that I needed to write about it to figure out what I want to do, not that I have made any firm decision yet.

Amy