Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wishcasting Wednesday: "What Do You Wish To Rise Above?"

It's Wednesday once again and once again, Jamie Ridler at asks, "What Do You Wish To Rise Above?"

I thought about this and read other's posts, all of whom wrote great posts on this topic, and decided that I wish to rise above my insecurities!  When I think about all the different things that are going on in my life, have gone on in my life, and will be going on in my life, I think about how i am often held back by my insecurities, my fear of failure.  If there is one thing that I really need to work on, it's my insecurities.  I know I don't think I'm good enough at a lot of different things and am only ok at somethings.  I need to give myself permission to fail.  Without some failure, you don't learn.  Failure doesn't have to be bad/negative!

I also think that my insecurities fuel some of my other issues.  I can be really judgmental of others, especially if I have found myself in a similar situation.  I need to let it go and have a little more empathy (which is really important since my career is in social work and empathy is huge).  I need to let go of my past failures and not let the green eyed monster get me!  I need to let go of my fear of being wrong and trust my instincts, for example having my older son tested for developmental delays.  I am finally getting him tested and I am ok with what ever outcome we get.  Of course, this would be one area that I would be happy to be wrong, but I don't want people to think that I am one of those mothers that always thinks that there is something wrong.

My insecurities can certainly hold me back.  I am hopeful that if I can let go of my insecurities, I can maybe find more friends, trust myself, and be a little happier (especially given how great my life is).  I am very thankful for my husband, my kids, my house, the fact that I can stay at home with my kids and be there for them.  I have to remember to be aware of all the good things that I have and let go of those insecurities!


Thursday, March 15, 2012

On Being Previvor

If you didn't know, I recently found out that I am a "previvor".    A previvor is a term, I believe, that was founded by to designate a term for people who are positive for the BRCA gene.  I now am faced with the decision to have prophylactic surgeries to remove my ovaries and my breasts.  This has been something that I have thought about for the last couple of months.  I had started thinking about it before I got tested, but the reality of this is just finally hitting me.  Last night was really the first time that I allowed myself to break down.  I was out doing my walk/run and in the middle of it, I broke down and started crying.  I started talking to my husband about what happened and he said I really need to do research and figure out what I need to do for me and that he will support me in what ever decision I make.

If you couldn't tell by the name of this blog, I believe in living a more natural life, but I also believe that there is a balance that needs to happen when living a natural life.  This decision is one area that I believe needs to be balanced.  I don't think that it is an easy decision to make: to either have surgery to remove parts of my body, that for a lot of women including me, are part of who we are as women or to use more alternative means to prevent cancer, breast and ovarian.  Right now I am leaning to not doing surgery with the potential of maybe having my ovaries out, but not having my breasts removed.  I have felt that this was going to be the way that I would go from the beginning, but I am scared of making the wrong decision and getting cancer and leaving my husband and 3 young children before it is time all because I made the wrong decision.

The New Year's goals that I have written about are based a lot on my BRCA2 + status.  I think that if I can work harder on these goals and actually meet them or at least continue working on them, I have a good chance of preventing cancer.  There is a lot of writing out there about having a gene and getting cancer.  There is also some information on how your genes are not your destiny.  I am hoping that I can make changes to my life to help change my genetic destiny.  I need to do a ton of research, and I need to find people who are on the same page as I am.  I haven't really figured out how to find these people, but I am hoping that there may be a group that I can find, maybe a support group type forum that actually meets in person.  I love that the internet allows for all sorts of info, but I really want to meet people and talk to professionals in person.

I am hoping that at some point in my life, I will figure out what I want to do professionally and hope that the less stress I have career wise will help with less stress overall.  I would love to have a career that took into account my beliefs of living a handmade and natural life.

Wish me luck on my research endeavors!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish For Your Future?

It's Wednesday once again and I am joining in with Jamie at  This week Jamie asks: "Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish For Your Future?"

This is kind of an easy answer for me.  I wish to be doing what I love.  Right now I am a stay at home mom.  I love it, but in a few short years I need to return to work.  Right before I got pregnant with my oldest son, I had just graduated from grad school and got married.  Now, almost 5 years later, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I love being a social worker, but I don't want to be a traditional social worker.  I want to use my experience and my education to do something a little less traditional.  I have lots of thoughts, but I can't seem to figure out exactly what would make me the happiest.  I wish that over the next few years, I can figure out my career, how to fit it into my family life, and how to make sure that me and my family are living a happy healthy life and how I can make sure that I am following my dreams and being true to myself and my beliefs!

For my future; I wish that I can live a life that is true to me and my beliefs and makes me and my family happy!

What do you wish for the future?


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Wishcasting Wednesday: What is Your Spirit Wishing For?

It's Wednesday once again and once again I am joining in with Jamie at for wish casting Wednesday.  This week Jamie asks: "What is Your Spirit Wishing For?"

The simple answer is follow through.  I set all these goals and a lot of times, I seem to only maintain the goal or even working towards the goal for a short time.  I think my spirit needs me to set attainable goals, give myself credit for what I do accomplish, and to follow through with the goals that I set for myself.  I think, for me, by not following through, I am not being true to myself.  I also think that I don't follow through due to fear.  Unfortunately, there are probably a lot of things that my spirit is wishing for, but I think right now, follow through is a good wish to have.

What is your spirit wishing for?


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Healthy Eating and Living

I've written a lot about wanting to change my diet and my reasons for doing so.  I've also written a lot about my struggles with being healthy.  Currently, I am finding it really hard giving up meat.  I still want to give up meat and I think in time, I will actually do it.  I think my biggest struggle is figuring out a meal plan that my whole family will eat.  I am thinking that I probably need to make meat dishes for my kids, and maybe even my husband, and I will just need to have some restraint and follow through with how I want to eat.  Given my BRCA2 gene (and don't want to proceed with surgery yet), I think it is also important to reduce the amount of animal protein I eat (at least from what I have read).

At this point, I really need to stop eating gluten, dairy, and reduce animal protein.  I also need and want to reduce the amount of added sugar, especially white sugar, in my families diet.  I start off doing well and then, I flop and fail.  My oldest son is not supposed to be eating dairy and gluten either (we both scored 3's on our IgG blood test) .  Given that I have concerns about Michael having more of an issue than just a speech delay, I know that following through on no gluten, no dairy, and probably other additives will help him out tremendously!

At this point, I am really going to concentrate on following through with my healthy living goals.  Other than this week, when I have been sick, I have been doing great at exercise.  I could probably do more, but I am happy with what I am doing.  I need to add some short meditation and yoga in, but otherwise exercise is great.  I am trying to make time to be creative, which is going ok, but not perfect.  I am also trying to get organized which is extremely slow going and tedious and time consuming, and difficult.

My thoughts here seem a little scattered (I'm obviously not a writer).  I really just wanted to get down in words, my goals and what I am finding difficult.  I hope that taking time to write down, what I want and what barriers I am facing, even if those barriers are just invisible barriers that I have put up, will help me be more aware and make the changes I need to, even if they are slow going!