It's once again Wednesday and I as usual am looking forward to joining in with Jamie Ridler at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca for wish casting Wednesday. This week Jamie asks "Who do you wish to make peace with?"
I initially thought I should make peace with my brother in law. He has been living in my house for 8 months and has not really helped out at all. He has really only thought about himself and really pretty put down anyone who disagrees with him, oh and he hasn't had a job and really hasn't looked for a job. And there is so much more that I could complain about, but who I really want to make peace with is me.
I really need to make peace with who I am. I am always comparing myself with others sometimes appropriately, and sometimes not appropriately. I am always comparing my physical self, how pretty I am or not, how skinny I am or not, how in shape I am or not. I am always comparing myself as a parent too. Then I start getting really negative. It can sometimes affect my marriage/relationship as we have been together for 18 years. I have some better days and some not so good days.
I wish to be happy with who I am and how I parent and stop comparing myself to others. I wish to be at peace with who I am and be satisfied that my husband is happy and not looking for me to change (I know he is not. I know that fear is all from my mind). I need to be happy with my parenting skills and realize that having 3 kids who at one time were all under one year of age was not an easy situation and I did the best I could and my kids are great kids. I need to stop questioning if I caused their speech delay or their inability to share or their temper tantrums.
I need to make peace with me!