Wishcasting Wednesday: "What Do You Wish To Rise Above?"

It's Wednesday once again and once again, Jamie Ridler at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca asks, "What Do You Wish To Rise Above?"


I thought about this and read other's posts, all of whom wrote great posts on this topic, and decided that I wish to rise above my insecurities!  When I think about all the different things that are going on in my life, have gone on in my life, and will be going on in my life, I think about how i am often held back by my insecurities, my fear of failure.  If there is one thing that I really need to work on, it's my insecurities.  I know I don't think I'm good enough at a lot of different things and am only ok at somethings.  I need to give myself permission to fail.  Without some failure, you don't learn.  Failure doesn't have to be bad/negative!


I also think that my insecurities fuel some of my other issues.  I can be really judgmental of others, especially if I have found myself in a similar situation.  I need to let it go and have a little more empathy (which is really important since my career is in social work and empathy is huge).  I need to let go of my past failures and not let the green eyed monster get me!  I need to let go of my fear of being wrong and trust my instincts, for example having my older son tested for developmental delays.  I am finally getting him tested and I am ok with what ever outcome we get.  Of course, this would be one area that I would be happy to be wrong, but I don't want people to think that I am one of those mothers that always thinks that there is something wrong.


My insecurities can certainly hold me back.  I am hopeful that if I can let go of my insecurities, I can maybe find more friends, trust myself, and be a little happier (especially given how great my life is).  I am very thankful for my husband, my kids, my house, the fact that I can stay at home with my kids and be there for them.  I have to remember to be aware of all the good things that I have and let go of those insecurities!


Amy

Shyness, Introverted Personality and Goal of Selling

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post.  It's kind of amazing how many people can share similar feelings.

After writing this post, I kept thinking about it, especially after reading each comment.  Along with being an introverted person, I am very shy.  I have been trying to work on my shyness as well as trying to be more out there when it comes to larger group settings.  There are times, even in my professional career where I have to be able to deal with group situations, not just one on one situations.

One of my goals is to maybe start an etsy.com page and also sell at craft fairs.  Being an introvert makes this goal really difficult.  I attempted to help a family member a couple of years ago at a craft fair and I didn't do so well.  My shyness, my unease at trying to interact with large numbers of people, and my fear of failure (Would I say something wrong?  Would people not want to interact and talk to me?) made this more difficult.  Since I really want to try to sell things I make, maybe I can overcome some of this shyness and start being a little more extroverted and stop worrying about what others might think of me.

I love to create and my next goal within my creative goal is to organize a place and a time to create and make nice things.  I am hoping that if I can find time and a place to create where I don't have to set up and take down every time, then maybe I can actually get thing made and made well.  Maybe I can practice and work on my learning curve issue.  Part of the problem is that my brother in law is staying with us and is staying in our basement where I would normally set up my craft station.  Now that I have the kids in bed earlier and I have more time to myself at night, I would love to spend that time creating at least once in a while.

I am hoping to get more proficient and feel more comfortable so that I can believe that I can meet my goal of selling what I make!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday:Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish people knew about you?

It's time once again for  Wishcasting Wednesday.  This week Jamie asks:

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish people knew about you?

I wish people knew just how terrified I can get in new situations and in group settings.  I wish people knew how much I fear what others think of me.  I wish people knew how afraid I am that once they get to know me, they won't like me.  I wish people knew how fearful I am of not doing things good enough, which ultimately means that I expect to do everything perfectly the first time I do it.  I wish people knew how afraid of failure I am.  I'm not sure anyone, even my husband realizes how I feel.

I have to admit that all of this fear has gotten better the older I've gotten.  I am starting to be ok with who I am, but I still am leery of interacting in group situations and I am definitely leery of trying new things and putting myself out there, but at least now I actually attempt to interact in group situations and try new things.  I absolutely prefer one on one situations.  I have always loved having one best friend and pretty much spending all my time with them.  I am not someone who enjoys large parties or groups.  Even if I attend a large party or am in a large and even not so large group situation, I tend to spend my time interacting with one maybe two people.  

Hopefully, this is something that I will be able to overcome.  At least I am aware of this and can work on it.

Amy

Diet, Diet, Diet!!!!

Ok, so I really should have said diet, exercise and stress reduction!  Right now, that is my plan for how to deal with my BRCA 2 test results.  At this point, I am not willing to remove body parts.  To be honest, I am scared of many things, both having surgery and not having surgery.  I honestly can't imagine removing my breasts without actually needing to, but I also am totally scared that I will get cancer and die early.

I am trying to make some pretty radical changes to my diet.  My goal is to eventually eat a vegan raw diet, but for now, it is very slow going.  I have started eating green smoothies in the morning, the problem is that I am still eating foods that are not really what I should be eating.  I am hoping that I can  increase the good foods and in return, I will decrease the amount of bad foods.  I am hoping to increase my exercise and lose weight.

As for stress management, I have 3 small kids and life is a little crazy.  I need to make sure that I make time to be creative.  That is the biggest piece of my stress reduction plan.  I also need to make time for yoga and meditation.

All this being said, I don't know what the future will bring.  As time passes, I may change my mind and decide to have surgery.  At this point, I don't want surgery, bit this is not a decision I plan to make lightly.  I will be doing a ton of research and try to find out what the next steps should be.

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish To Let Go Of?

It's Wednesday again and I am once again joining in with Jamie Ridler at http://www.jamieridlerstudios.ca. This week Jamie asks, "What do you wish to let go of?"


As usual, Jamie's prompts are so timely.  Yesterday, I wrote about my fears and insecurities about starting my own handcrafted gifts business.  I have so many fears and insecurities in life, I just wish I could let go of them and just be secure in myself and in my abilities.

It's kind of funny how some of these wishes all fit together.  For me, last weeks wish about being loved and  this weeks wish about letting go, go together.  I think if I could love myself unconditionally, I could let go of my insecurities and my fears.  On the flip side, if I could let go of fears and insecurities, maybe I could love myself unconditionally.

Maybe, if I let go of my fears and insecurities, I would take more chances in general.  I would talk to people more often and maybe make more friends, rather than just a few acquaintances that I have.

My fears and insecurities have always help me back!  It's time to let go and I guess to quote AA, let God, or what one perceives to be God.

Amy

Creativity and Fear!

I have been thinking more and more about creating things and selling them.  I really love being creative and feel so relaxed and just plain and simply enjoy myself.  I keep putting off the selling piece, mainly because of my fear.  I am always afraid of failing, of people looking at what I make and thinking that there is no way that they would even consider buying anything that i could make because  it is not good enough to sell.  I am afraid people will laugh at me for even considering something like this.  I am trying to get a plan in place to start so that I don't waste my time and money.  Thankfully, I have a ton of supplies so I don't have to dish out a ton of money to start up creating.

I have been trying to come up with a name that will be creative and also say something about me or what I create.  Part of the problem is that there is just so many areas of creativity that I love, I can't decide where to focus what I would make.  Part of me just wants to focus on accessories and small thoughtful gifts, but I don't want to box myself into a specific medium.  That may be a mistake, but maybe not, as long as I make sure that what I create follows some sort of theme, such as accessories and small gifts.

I have been thinking about a name for my "company" for a long time now, and I just can't think of something really creative.  I have tried to think of things in my life that I love.  I have loved rainbows, mythology, and fairies , and dragonflies, and butterflies, and nature.  I love kind of more bohemian style.  I am finding that I love rich, deep, earthy, colors.  I guess I'm just throwing out ideas for me to have them written down so that I can come back and seeing if anything strikes me.

I would love to start with selling my creations, maybe move on to classes and parties, and then when I have time and maybe money get certified as an art therapist.  As is my brain, this post is very haphazard and kind of all over the place.  At this point, I need to write down my thoughts, maybe have others comment on them, and then maybe I can come back and read my thoughts and come up with ideas.

Amy