Thoughts!

So here it is the beginning of September, the start of a new school year and almost the start of fall.  At this time of year, I start to think about new goals, new beginnings, and just new everything.  I love the fall.  I love the cool crisp weather.  I love the colors.  I love the energy.

With the start of fall, I am starting to think about what changes I need to make in my life.  What new beginnings I want to have.  What direction I want to lead my life.  With these thoughts in mind, I have been trying to really work on figuring out what direction I want to take my career.  On some level, I think I should just stick with what I know and remain a nursing home social worker.  The thought of not making a change is comforting in the fact that I like stability and I don't like change, as well as knowing that I know my job and can make money at it.  On the other hand, the thought of remaining on the exact same career path, really depresses me.

I recently watched an episode of "Choppped" on The Food Network.  They were interviewing one of the chefs and he talked about always thinking about food and cooking, and that was how he figured out that he wanted to be a chef.  Then last night, I was watching TV, and there was a commercial (I think it was a commercial) that talked about a woman who wanted to be a potato farmer.  Her father talked her out of it partially for the lack of money and partially for the time involved in farming and she went to school to be a nurse.  Ultimately, though, she ended up being a full time potato farmer and a part time nurse.  Both of these things got me thinking about my life.

What do I keep thinking about?  If I were to be asked about my passions in life, how would I answer?  If money were no object, what would I want to be doing with my life?

These questions keep bringing me back to health and wellness and creating.  I love making things.  I love how I feel while I am creating and when I finish creating.  I love the idea of "alternative" health and wellness.  I would love to be a part of a group of people that used "alternative" methods towards health and wellness.  I want to use my social work education and experience to to be creative and help people.

Maybe I can, once I have my LICSW, try to help people by using crafts as a therapeutic tool.  Maybe I can help people feel the same way about creating as I do.  I don't necessarily need my LICSW for that, unless I want to call myself a social worker when I am working with people.  I also think that it will give me a little more credibility for this type of work too.

I could start now by teaching a class at a local craft studio, but there is the issue of money.  I would love to give up my part time social work job and if I could make money, I would do so in a heart beat.  If I could get a full time job doing something I love, and make enough money, I would go back to work and put the kids in full day preschool.  The problem is I can't make enough money doing what I love.  So, for now, I will stay home with my children (which I love and truly appreciate), homeschool them for preschool, create with them and maybe with their friends, work part time in a nursing home, and create in my spare time.  I will make time to create as often as I can, while I complete my other responsibilities.

I will keep putting out to the universe: my dreams, my goals, and my desires.  I will try to be open to what opportunities I am presented with.  I will try to get enough courage to teach a class at my local craft studio.  I will spend the next couple of years trying to research getting information on how I can make my dreams a reality.  I will start using this blog as a way to teach others that being creative is a great way to reduce stress and live the good life.  I will share how things are going with my research and where my dreams are at.  I will share projects that I create, as well as some healthy food recipes and some wellness ideas.  I will try to follow my heart and live a creative and passionate life!

Amy

Dreaming

Sometimes, I feel like a broken record.  Sometimes, I hope that if I repeat myself enough, maybe I'll actually follow through with my dreams.  Sometimes, I think if I repeat myself, my fear of failure, my fear of people making fun of me, my fear of anything negative will go away.  Sometimes, I think that I should just give up and just keep going as a hobby crafter.  Sometimes I feel like if I remain a hobby crafter, I will not be being true to myself.

I keep having this dream of, one day, making some money off my love of crafting.  If it a pipe dream, maybe.  Do I realize that I will probably need to continue being a social worker, yup!  Do I realize that the likelihood that it will be a success, may be slim to none, yup.  Do I realize with that statement, I am being very negative, yup!  Do I realize that there may be some truth in it though, absolutely.

What I keep dreaming about, is owning a studio and gallery where people can create, learn, and exhibit their work.  I would love for there to be a cafe with healthy food too.  I love to create and I would love to share that passion with others.  I would love to offer a place to create for people who can't afford to go to a regular studio as well as for those that can.  I would love for it to be a place where anyone can feel like an artist or that they are creative!  I would love for them to feel comfortable and mot judged.  I would love for children to have a place to come and create.  I would love to offer a place for those with mental health issues.  I would love to offer a place where people can come and create and leave a legacy for those they leave behind (that's the social worker in me).  I actually did a major paper in grad school on scrapbooking and social work.  I would love for this to be a way to have my career and my dreams meld together.

Maybe if I keep talking about it, it will happen.  I should am going to stop saying maybe and I am going to start saying, "When I have my own gallery and studio, it will be a place where both young and old and everyone in between can come and create.  It will be a place where people can come and create something, that can be given to those they love, wether it be a scrapbook of photos or an object that they have created.  It will be a place where I can share my love of creativity and my social work career. I will love my job and be able to make a living at it.  I will use my education and my passion to create the life I love."

From this point on, I will continue to pursue my dreams.  I will continue to create and I will continue to try to make some money by creating.  I will continue to be positive and not focus on the negative.  I will stop feeling like I'm going to feel or be laughed at.  I will remain positive!

Amy

Wishcasting Wednesday: How Do You Wish To Be Loved?

It's Wednesday once again and Jamie over at jamieridlerstudios.ca asks, "How Do You Wish To Be Loved?"


This week's question is actually really difficult for me to write about, which probably means I really need to write about it.  I am extremely lucky with love.  I have a great family, both my own and my in-laws.  We have our ups and downs, just like pretty much everyone, but we are always there for each other.  I have a fabulous husband who absolutely loves me unconditionally and I have 3 beautiful children who also love me unconditionally (even though as I sit here and write, my daughter screams because she is at the point of fighting her naps, but truly needs them!).

How do I wish to be loved?  I wish to love myself unconditionally.  I have a feeling that this is something most people struggle with, but it is something I really need to work on.  What more can I say about this except that I have to try to remember to be good to myself and not be so critical about myself!

I wish to love me!

Amy

I am sure that I could be more descriptive with this post, but I am not sure that i am really ready to write about everything.  I just really need to stop being critical about myself, be happy with who I am, and truly love me!

Selling What I Make?

I have long thought about selling things I make.  I think I would really enjoy making money, even just a little, from something I created.  Then my fears step in, my anxieties, my doubt.  Am I good enough?  Are the things that I make good enough quality to sell people?  Is anyone interested?  Are there too many people doing the same thing that I am doing.  Will I be a total failure, a total flop?

Yes, I have major self doubts, some that are real and some that are probably more in my mind than anything else.  Yes, I need to make sure that what ever I make, there is a calling for.  I often go to craft fairs for multiple reasons, one of them being to scope out what others are selling.  There are so many jewelers out there.  There are so many people doing all the things that I like to do.  I haven't found my niche yet, and I don't know if I am able to think outside the box enough to create my own little niche.

I have a couple of friends that sell on etsy.com and I am really interested in doing something like this.  I just e-mailed a friend that is jsut starting her own shop.  She got me interested again instead of just thinking about is a side thought.  How nice would it be to actually make money doing something you love?  Granted, I am totally aware that what you love may end up being what you despise when it becomes your job, but I really want to do something I love, not just something I like.  Is this it?  I don't know, but I'm not sure that I should discount that this may be something I would enjoy, maybe just a little side thing to enjoy and make a little money at the same time.

My next goal is to find my little niche.  What will it be?  I can only hope to figure out!  I really need to find something that I will enjoy yet something that is different and something that attracts people to want to buy things.

Amy