Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Failure

Why am I such a failure when it comes to eating the way I should be.  I know that I often have stomach issues, but really could never relate it to certain foods except dairy products.  Now that I have been tested for allergies, there are so many more foods that I need to check to see if are true allergens.  Why is it that I can not stop eating these foods long enough to see if I truly have an allergy to them.  I feel like a complete and total failure when it comes to food intake.  I guess this must be what a drug addict or alcoholic feels like on some level.  I know it isn't the same, but I truly crave these foods and I know that they make me feel horrible.  I just need to bite the bullet and start doing what I need to so to be healthy.  I had to eliminate something (substance that I craved) when I was in grad school for my substance abuse class.  At the time I chose caffeine.  Not a bad choice at the time, but thinking back I wish I had done something more like wheat.  According to my blood test (which there are many false positives supposedly) I need to cut out cantaloupe, cheddar cheese, swiss cheese, cottage cheese, egg yolks, gluten, malt, cow's milk, rye, tuna, watermelon, wheat, brewer's yeast, and baker's yeast, and maybe even yogurt.  Because of these potential allergies, it is even more important that I cook my own food and eat healthy.  I am on the path to eating correctly from here on out.  I know that there will be more failures, but I will always get back on the horse and do what I need to do for my health.

As for creativity, I still need to get better at creating.  I am making the cake for my mom's birthday.  I can't wait to play with the decorating.  It's going to be fun.  I can't wait to get better at making time to create.  I am working on a knit dishcloth for my husband's aunt and I will be giving her a pattern book for her to make things from.  Hopefully she'll like them.  I am also thinking that I don't really want to sell things I create, but I actually want to teach others the benefits of living a creative life.  Some day I'll figure out what my passion within creativity really is.

I'm off now to get the kids dressed and go to the natural grocery store with them.  I need to plan my meals and start thinking about how to be healthy for me and my family!

Amy

2 comments:

  1. Don't be too hard on yourself, lady! Why don't you cut out one of those foods each week, or so, until you have gotten rid of most of them? I understand you are trying to see if something that is probably present in most of them is what is triggering the allergy, but if you start with one, it will be less difficult than feeling like you are giving up everything you love at the same time!

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  2. Amy - I have a bunch of recipes that I keep meaning to send you. I have been cooking on the vegetarian side (and even vegan if you take out the cheese) and I have thought about you when making some of these dishes. Would you like me to send you the recipes?

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