Wishcasting Wednesday:What do you wish to reclaim?

I am once again joining in with Jamie Rider at jamieridlerstudios.ca for Wishcasting Wednesday.This week Jamie asks:  What do you wish to reclaim?

For me this was actually an easy wish.  I wish to reclaim my life.  The last few years have been a little crazy.  Five years ago I got engaged in the middle of grad school.  six months later I was married to my best friend and 1 month after that we found out I was pregnant.  A couple of weeks before that I sound my grandmother's house and just days after we found out I was pregnant, my mother in law died.  Nine months later i gave birth to a beautiful boy after being on bed rest for 6 weeks.  Three months later I was pregnant again.  It was not really a surprise and we were thrilled.  Two months later, I was afraid I was miscarrying, only to find out we were having twins.  A little over two months later I was put on bed rest for fear of going into early labor.  At week 35, I gave birth to a girl and a boy and things were great until 2 1/2 weeks after they were born and my son was rushed to Children's Hospital Boston with RSV.  One week later, his twin sister was admitted with RSV too.  We had 2 infants in the NICU and a 10 1/2 month old at home.  My son was hospitalized for 3 weeks and my daughter for 2, although she was on a vent and tube fed for 6 days (until she pulled out her tubes, she's a feisty one).  My grandfather died 1 week after the twins came home from the NICU and my sisters and I drove to NC with a  year old and 6 week old twins.  Four months later, we bought our house.

Thankfully, since then, things have been relatively quiet.  The biggest issue lately is my mom being diagnosed with Breast cancer.  My grandmother, her mother died of breast cancer.  My mom was tested for the gene and is positive.  I was tested and am finding out the results today.

This is a really, really long explanation for why I need to reclaim my life.  I want to start living the life I really want.  My New Years Goals spell out how I want to live my life.  Now I have to reclaim my life and live it to it's fullest and follow my dreams and goals.  Life has been crazy over the last 5 years, but life is settling down.  Life is getting somewhat easier now that the kids are getting older.  I need to stop making excuses and start living my life the way I really want to!

Amy

Learning To Listen

I was reading one of the blogs I follow, http://any-given-moment.blogspot.com/, and the author wrote about making decisions and listening to the holy spirit/God.  While I totally believe that God, or some higher power gives us signs about how we should make certain decisions in our life, I don't feel like I am able to hear or see the signs that show me the way to go.  I feel like I end up totally making decisions based on what I think I should do vs what I truly want to do.  I have heard others say that they had a sign that helped them to make certain life changing decisions, but I for one, can't really say that I have ever felt that (ok other than knowing that I was meant to marry my husband).

I think one of the reasons that this is speaking to me know is, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I love being a stay at home mom and only working part time, but I am not sure that when I go back to work full time, I want to do the traditional social work things that I have done in the past.  I have said this before, but I haven't done anything about it.  I have all these thoughts, hopes, dreams, desires, and I know that I can't just dream about things, I have to do some sort of action to make my dreams come to fruition, but I just don't know what.  I would love to do more with things like the idea behind this blog, something green, handmade, natural, healthy.  I'm just not sure how to do that, make money, enjoy what I do, and not totally give up the whole social work thing (though I do think that my social work training will benefit me no matter what I decide to do).

 I guess I should spend some time praying, only this time I think I should ask for the ability to see the signs that will lead me in the direction that I should be living my life not just for the signs.  I guess I only tend to pray when I want or need something.  That's actually a pretty poor picture of how someone should be praying.  I try to pray often, and just give thanks for everything that I have.  There's really not much I need to change in my life other than the direction that my professional life/career should move and how to go about doing it.  I feel like, even though it's slow, I am progressing in home organizing.  I just now need to figure out how to make my passions part of my professional path!

Amy