The Binge Monster Is Back

My binge monster is back and it is totally rearing it's ugly head.  Since last night, all I've wanted to do is eat.  Not only do I want to eat, I want to eat junk.  Not only am I wanting to eat it, I am giving in to it.  I can't keep doing this.  I really need to sit down and maybe attempt something that I've seen used in psychotherapy meetings.  I am going to literally try to talk to an empty chair and visualize that my binge monster is sitting there.  I am going to tell him how I feel about him and what he is doing to both my physical health and my psychological health.  This may sound a little crazy, but I've heard that if you basically personify the issue, it will help you to overcome your issues.  I am going to say good bye and tell my binge monster never to return. 

This may be an excuse, and I tend to be good at justifying things in my life, but I am wondering if I am starting with some PMS type symptoms.  If this is the case, it's even more important that I deal with these food issues now, before things get out of hand.  There are so many reasons to change my eating habits.  First and most important is my pre-eclampsia history puts me at greater risk for blood pressure issues and I already have cardiac issues in my family, second is my breast cancer and other cancer risks, third is my potential allergies/intolerances, and fourth is just my overall health and well-being as well as needing to lose a good 25-30 pounds.  Add onto that list with PMS issues and skin issues.

There is no reason for me to give into my binge monster.  This is going to be quite a fight I'm afraid, but I know in the long run, I will win!

Amy

The Binge Monster

I just read "How to break up with your binge monster" over at http://thedailydietribe.com and  so much rang true with me.  Just last night, as my previous post states, I totally had a binge moment.  I had eaten/drank a raw green smoothie for breakfast, but that was it until 3:30 pm when my husband got cookies.  Then I went to work and has a personal pizza, then came home and had some chicken and salad (the only good semi healthy part of my binge), then I went on to eat 3 english muffins with butter and jelly.  So not good.  I just craved food and gave into to everything that I wanted.  Today was a little better, but on my way to work, I totally screwed up.  I, again, started my day with a raw green smoothie,  then we had errands to run.  I hate cookies on the way, but only 3 (as if that is ok).  I did eat a salad for lunch which was a decent decision, but then on my way to work I bought 2, yes 2, muffins, one cranberry walnut that I ate on the way and a chocolate dream with chocolate frosting (which I only ate half and threw the other half right away).  The muffins were not a good decision.  Bad on all fronts for me.  There is way too much sugar, wheat, dairy, and just generally unhealthy ingredients.  Sometimes, I just can't say no.

I think I need to have a talk with my monster.  I think literally a talk.  I want to say out loud, that I will no longer eat things that hurt me.  I want to tell my monster to leave me alone and that even though he thinks he is giving me what I need, all he is doing is causing me pain.  Like Iris over at http://thedailydietribe.com mentioned, this is going to be an ongoing battle (ok the battle part is from me), but as time goes on, I will see my monster slowly but surely backing off and not coming around as much, hopefully some day never to return.

When I go home tonight, I am sure I will snack, but I want to make sure that I snack on something healthy.  I will be snacking on carrot sticks and hummus, one of my new favorite snacks.  I will be looking to eliminate wheat, gluten, and dairy from my diet as well as the other foods that are at least 3 on my blood test.  I am thinking, not only will I be healthier, but I will hopefully lose weight and have more energy.  The other thing that I need to do for my health is increase my exercise.  Hopefully the nice weather will be here before I know it and I can go for walk with the kids.  At least if the snow melts, I can get out with the stroller and walk, since right now there is no room on the sidewalks for a double wide stroller and there is little to no way I can fit in time to exercise with the kids around.  Maybe I just need to get out of bed earlier.

I think the other thing that will help with my diet is to keep busy.  I have many projects to work on and could be reading mroe blogs!  If I keep my mind and my hands busy, maybe then I won't snack or at least be tempted to snack on things that are unhealthy for me to be eating.  Plus, I love to read blogs, I love to work on projects and I have a ton of books that I can read!

Amy, who promises not to keep ruminating on my diet and diet failures!