I was reading one of the blogs I follow, http://any-given-moment.blogspot.com/, and the author wrote about making decisions and listening to the holy spirit/God. While I totally believe that God, or some higher power gives us signs about how we should make certain decisions in our life, I don't feel like I am able to hear or see the signs that show me the way to go. I feel like I end up totally making decisions based on what I think I should do vs what I truly want to do. I have heard others say that they had a sign that helped them to make certain life changing decisions, but I for one, can't really say that I have ever felt that (ok other than knowing that I was meant to marry my husband).
I think one of the reasons that this is speaking to me know is, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I love being a stay at home mom and only working part time, but I am not sure that when I go back to work full time, I want to do the traditional social work things that I have done in the past. I have said this before, but I haven't done anything about it. I have all these thoughts, hopes, dreams, desires, and I know that I can't just dream about things, I have to do some sort of action to make my dreams come to fruition, but I just don't know what. I would love to do more with things like the idea behind this blog, something green, handmade, natural, healthy. I'm just not sure how to do that, make money, enjoy what I do, and not totally give up the whole social work thing (though I do think that my social work training will benefit me no matter what I decide to do).
I guess I should spend some time praying, only this time I think I should ask for the ability to see the signs that will lead me in the direction that I should be living my life not just for the signs. I guess I only tend to pray when I want or need something. That's actually a pretty poor picture of how someone should be praying. I try to pray often, and just give thanks for everything that I have. There's really not much I need to change in my life other than the direction that my professional life/career should move and how to go about doing it. I feel like, even though it's slow, I am progressing in home organizing. I just now need to figure out how to make my passions part of my professional path!